My Soldier Too Read online

  A long silence preceded Madison’s answer. “Make sure you really want to know the truth before you ask.”

  “I want to know everything about you.”

  “I left because I don’t want to fall in love with you.”

  Isabella stopped and tugged Madison to a halt. “Why?”

  “I’m a coward. I don’t want to give my heart to anyone.” Madison pulled her hand free. “Love hurts too much when it goes away.”

  “But love doesn’t have to go away, does it?”

  “Everyone I’ve ever loved has left me.” Madison looked intently at Isabella. “Aren’t you afraid of what’s happening between us?”

  “Of course I am. I have more questions than answers. But one thing I’m sure of is how you make me feel. I’ve walked on beaches like this one countless times, and I always tried never to take its beauty for granted. This morning, here with you, it’s not just beautiful, it’s breathtaking. It’s like you’ve lifted a veil that kept me from really seeing what was around me. Now, everything is so vivid, including my feelings for you.” She took Madison’s hand again. “You said I’d know love when it happened. It has. I don’t know what the future has in store, but I know I’m in love with you.”

  “You’ve never been with a woman. How can you be so sure?”

  “The same way you are.” Isabella grabbed a handful of Madison’s fleece jacket. “You probably don’t realize I remember what you said to me at the bar, but I do. You told me you think you love me. Whether you want to run or not, that can’t be undone. You feel it, too.”

  “I am in love with you, Isabella.” Madison dropped Isabella’s hand and took two steps away. “But I’m not convinced things could work between us. You deserve someone who isn’t carrying around so much baggage. I don’t think you understand the price either of us might have to pay if we give in to this.”

  Isabella closed the gap between them. “I’m willing to take my chances. I can’t go back to going through the motions of pretending to love someone. Now that I’ve met you, I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone but you.”

  “That’s easy to say when no one is telling you you’re throwing your life away.” Madison put her arms around Isabella. They held each other with no more words passing between them.

  Sporadic drops of rain and dark clouds threatened to become a downpour. “I think the sky’s about to open up on us,” Madison said. “We’d better head back.”

  * * *

  Isabella put the salad and mashed potatoes on the table next to an open bottle of wine while Madison took the meatloaf out of the oven. Isabella hated the tension surrounding them. She felt like they’d come to the first crossroads of their relationship. She was certain which path she wanted to take… if only Madison would let her. The smell of dinner filled the room. They sat down to eat.

  “I forgot something.” Madison went to the refrigerator and pulled the ketchup bottle from the shelf on the door. She put it on the table between them as she resumed her seat.

  “What’s that for?” Isabella asked.

  Madison squirted a dollop onto her meatloaf. “Don’t tell me you’d have preferred gravy.”

  “I don’t think I’ve ever had ketchup on anything other than fries.” Isabella squirted some on her meatloaf. “I’m willing to try it.”

  “Is it because you’re Italian that you’ve never had it before?”

  “If you’d ever tasted my Grandmother’s tomato gravy, you’d understand.” Isabella took a bite. It was edible, but not much more. Madison might be the worst cook in all of Massachusetts. “It’s good.”

  Madison swallowed a mouthful and eyed Isabella. “You’re being polite.”

  Isabella took a bite. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never tasted anything quite like it.” She swallowed it down. “I do have a question though. Did you use any salt or other seasonings for the meatloaf?”

  Madison grinned. “Was I supposed to?”

  Isabella laughed.

  “We could warm up the pizza we didn’t eat last night if you’d prefer that instead,” Madison suggested.

  “No, this is good. I want to eat it because you made it for me.” Isabella’s belly gurgled.

  “Was that your stomach protesting?”

  “Of course not, silly.”

  “Either you have the stomach of a junkyard dog, or you’re the bravest woman I know. When you finish, I have dessert, too.”

  Isabella raised an eyebrow. “Did you make it?”

  “Lucky for you it’s a pound cake Bobbie picked up at the grocery store.”

  Isabella lifted another forkful. She stopped before putting it into her mouth. “Maybe we should start with dessert first.”

  “It’s really bad, isn’t it?”

  “I thought I could handle it. It was sweet of you to go to so much trouble.” Isabella put her fork down.” She held Madison’s gaze. “I’m not that hungry now anyway.”

  “How can that be? We ate lunch hours ago.”

  “I think you know why,” Isabella said.

  Madison fixed her eyes on Isabella’s empty wineglass. “Do you want more wine?”

  “No, I don’t.”

  Madison’s hand shook as she stacked their plates. “Why don’t I warm up the pizza? You have to eat something.” She took their plates to the sink.

  “I’m sorry if I upset you,” Isabella said.

  Madison busied herself with scraping their uneaten dinner into the garbage disposal. “You didn’t.”

  Isabella feared that, even if Madison stayed in the room, she was on the verge of running away emotionally. She summoned her courage and confronted the issue head-on. “What is it then? Why do you keep running from me?”

  With her back to Isabella, Madison gripped the edges of the sink. “I tried to tell you before, but you don’t seem to want to hear it. Someone will be broken in the wake of us loving each other.”

  Isabella walked over to Madison. She stopped inches behind her and put her hand on Madison’s waist. “And I’ll ask you the same question I asked before. How can you be so sure?”

  Madison continued to stare into the sink. “If we give in to our feelings, I suspect there’s a strong likelihood that your family will make you choose between them and me. Whichever one you pick, the one not chosen will break. You can’t win, Isabella. Once you’re forced to make a choice like that, you’ll break, too.” She exhaled loudly. “I’m not trying to be cruel. It’s just the reality as I see it.” She pushed Isabella’s hand away from where it had been resting on her waist and turned to face her. “Plus, I’m in the military. I’m not allowed to love you and keep my job.”

  “That’s not true, Madison. We both know ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ was repealed. They can’t throw you out anymore for being a lesbian.”

  “I know what the law says. I’ve also seen how the military works. Just because the law has changed, don’t think the way gays are treated has changed overnight. I might not get thrown out, but there are still enough people who think gays don’t belong that they could make my life miserable if it was common knowledge.”

  “But you could take legal action against them.”

  “Yeah, and pay the price every inch of the way.” She pressed her back against the edge of the counter. “I’m not interested in being at the forefront of trying to change old attitudes to keep up with the new law. I just want to do my job and be left alone.”

  Isabella tried to process everything Madison had said. What if she was right about Isabella’s family? How could she possibly choose between them and the beautiful woman in front of her? Her brain cautioned her about inevitable heartache. Her heart urged her to heed the siren of love, and the rebellious drumbeat of her body’s ache for Madison refused to be silenced.

  She slipped her fingers underneath Madison’s sweatshirt. She tentatively caressed the warm skin hidden below the heavy cotton. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t care if you are. Just please stop running from me, at least for one
night.”

  “I’m so afraid,” Madison whispered.

  Isabella brought her other hand to the other side of Madison’s torso. She leaned closer so that their bodies touched. “Don’t be, because I’m not.” Isabella put both hands on the silky plane of Madison’s hard stomach. She let her pinky fingers slip below the waistband of Madison’s jeans. Madison’s body tensed under her touch. Isabella longed to break down Madison’s walls to finally reach the nucleus of her heart.

  “Isabella, please be sure this is what you want,” Madison said.

  “I’ve never wanted to be with anyone more.” Isabella moved her hands higher. “I want to know what it’s like to make love to you.” Madison wasn’t wearing anything underneath her sweatshirt. Isabella’s body reacted unambiguously to the sensation of touching Madison’s exquisite body. Her fingertips pulsed with the need to touch Madison everywhere. A blend of desire, nerves, and love made her dizzy. Time slowed as she moved closer to the point of no return.

  Madison gripped the edge of the countertop. “Convince me you want to make love to me.”

  Isabella closed her eyes and savored the feel of Madison’s skin under her touch. “If I do, will you let me explore all the things that make you a woman?” She moved a palm over the rigid nipple of one of Madison’s breasts. Madison’s whimper emboldened her. “I’m especially interested in the parts you promised were even softer than your lips.” Searing desire doused any inhibition that remained. Loving Madison came as a powerful waterfall. Isabella captured both breasts in greedy hands that no longer cared what her brain had to say. This was the passion she craved. “So soft,” she said and sighed.

  Madison tilted her head back, inviting Isabella’s discovery, “Keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll find all of my softest places.”

  “No more running?”

  “I’m yours. You can do whatever you like.” Madison put her lips to Isabella’s and kissed her. Their tongues mingled, unhurried.

  Isabella unzipped the front of Madison’s sweatshirt and slipped it off her shoulders. The sight left her breathless with wanting. “Tell me what to do.”

  Madison took Isabella’s hands in her own and guided them back to her breasts. “Make love to me like it’s the first time for both of us.” She laced her fingers into Isabella’s thick hair. “Put your mouth on me.”

  Isabella kissed Madison’s lips, her neck, and the top of her chest down to the soft round flesh of a breast. She tasted Madison with the tip of her tongue.

  Madison writhed against her. “You’re so incredible.”

  “I love how your body reacts to me. I want all of it.” Isabella fumbled with the button of Madison’s jeans.

  Madison grabbed her wrist. “Slower.”

  “No more waiting,” Isabella said, breathless. She pulled her hand free and unfastened the button. “There’s too much clothing between us. I want my skin on yours.” She grasped the bottom of her own T-shirt and pulled it over her head. The hungry expression on Madison’s face reminded her of her own starvation. She reached behind her back to unclasp her bra. Again, Madison took hold of her wrists.

  “You were one of those kids, weren’t you?”

  “What kind of kid was that?” Isabella asked.

  “The kind that rips their Christmas presents open so fast they never notice the wrapping.”

  Isabella didn’t fight the hold that Madison placed on her. “You weren’t?”

  Madison used one hand to continue to restrain Isabella. “I never got many presents. So when I did, I savored the process of opening them as much as having what was inside them.” She slipped her free hand under Isabella’s bra and fondled the treasure it held. “Exactly how I intend to have you.”

  “Madison,” Isabella whispered. It didn’t matter that she’d never made love to a woman before. Her body knew the road even though it had never been on it. “Take all the time you need so long as we end up naked in your bed.”

  Madison let go of Isabella’s wrists. “Count on it.” She put her fingertips under the straps of Isabella’s bra and slid them off her shoulders one at a time. Madison kissed the bare skin of each as she did. Then, she reached around and undid the bra’s clasp. It fell to the floor. “God, you’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” She filled her hands with Isabella’s breasts. “Please, don’t let this be a dream.” She kissed Isabella hard with her mouth wide open.

  A puff of air escaped Isabella’s throat. No matter where Madison put her hands and mouth, the effect was the same. The intimate places of her body echoed with an urgent plea to be satisfied. “Make love to me.”

  “I intend to by kissing every inch of your body.”

  Isabella put her lips next to Madison’s ear. “If you’re going to kiss every inch of me, wouldn’t it be easier without clothing in the way?”

  “You’re absolutely right. Not a single stitch.” Madison unfastened Isabella’s jeans and slid her hand into them. She stopped just short of Isabella’s wet warmth.

  Isabella tried to force Madison’s hand lower. “Please.”

  “Not yet.” Madison led her to the bedroom. They stopped at the edge of the bed. She eased Isabella down into a lying position. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I love you.” Isabella reached for her. She kissed Madison deeply. Every cell of her body was alive with the sublime feel of Madison’s breasts pressed to hers. “Love me back.”

  “I do, and I will.” Unhurried, Madison pulled off Isabella’s jeans. She ran the palms of her hands from Isabella’s ankles to the tops of her thighs. Her thumb brushed Isabella’s throbbing center.

  Isabella groaned, not from the faint touch, but from the lack of full satisfaction.

  Madison slipped her fingertips under the waistband of Isabella’s underwear and slid it from her body. She stood and removed the last of her own clothing.

  Isabella watched in anticipation. A jolt of desire coursed through her at the sight of Madison’s nakedness. Isabella opened herself, beckoning Madison to finally take her.

  Madison rested between her legs. She moved against Isabella in a tantalizing cadence.

  The friction caused Isabella’s need to build. She raised her body in yearning. “Please, touch me.”

  Madison ran her tongue along Isabella’s neck. “Where would you like to be touched?”

  Isabella clenched the bed sheets. “Everywhere.”

  “Everywhere and back, I promise.” Madison rolled so she was lying beside Isabella. She slowly traced the length of Isabella’s body from her neck down to the top of her thigh with a fingertip. She caressed Isabella’s need. “Is this what you want?”

  Isabella tried to utter words. She arched her back and begged, “Please. Yes.” She put her hand over Madison’s and pressed it to her.

  “You deserve everything I have.” Madison’s mouth and fingers moved in and over her in exquisite union, satisfying every desire. Isabella’s sharp intake of breath drove Madison deeper.

  Isabella’s sweet release started as a low rumble, shaking gently at first until it exploded into an earthquake of sensation. She roared from the utter pleasure of it.

  Madison stayed inside her until her tremors subsided. Then she moved back up the length of Isabella’s body coming to rest in the comfort of her arms. She laid her head on Isabella’s chest. “I could get used to the sound of your heart beating fast because of me.”

  After several languid minutes, Isabella spoke. “That was unbelievable. You made my toes curl.” She hugged Madison tighter.

  “Mm, we’ll have to shoot for that every time. For now, all I want to do is lie here wrapped around you.”

  “Sorry, I can’t allow that. You haven’t kept your promise to me yet.”

  Madison rose up on one elbow. “I haven’t?”

  “You promised to show me something softer than your lips.” Isabella kissed them. “I’m still waiting to find out what that is.”

  Madison shook her head. “You’re astonishingly hot for your first
time making love to a woman.” She took one of Isabella’s hands in her own. “I like to keep my promises.” She guided the flat of Isabella’s hand down the length of her own body to that softest of secret places. “Can you feel how much I want you?”

  “Yes.” Isabella moaned as her fingers explored Madison. “You’re a woman of your word, Capt. Brown. This is by far the softest place on earth. I hope you don’t mind if I take my time.”

  Madison exhaled. “Not at all.” She gasped when Isabella entered her.

  Isabella marveled at how natural and instinctively she made love to Madison. It was as if the instructions had always been written in her heart, waiting to be discovered. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too,” Madison whispered.

  Isabella closed her eyes and let loving a woman consume her. The taste, sound, feel, vulnerability, and power combined to create an otherworldly beauty that humbled her. “I want you to feel me touch your heart.” In her quest to master Madison’s body, Isabella quickly discovered the path to her ecstasy. She pushed deeper until Madison dug her fingernails into her back and screamed her climax. Isabella relished the moment of freedom she had bestowed on Madison. Tears filled her eyes. It was the most splendid thing she’d ever done.

  Madison sighed as she clutched Isabella closely. “I wish that we’ll never end.”

  Chapter 16

  “These past two months with you have been the best of my life.” Seated across from Madison in the hospital cafeteria at Boston Central, Isabella set her empty coffee cup down. People bustled all around them. She stole a glance at the crowd to make sure no one was watching and put her hand on top of Madison’s resting on the table.

  Madison turned her hand over and laced her fingers with Isabella’s. “That’s sweet of you to say that, but we both know it’s not a hundred percent true.”

  “You mean because I still haven’t told my family about us, don’t you?”

  “I know how important they are to you, Isabella. I don’t like feeling that I’m some kind of ogre who’s turned you into someone you’re afraid they won’t love anymore.”